“The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him…” – Proverbs 31:1
So often when we talk of Proverbs 31, we tend to only think of it in terms of vv. 10-31 (the “Excellent Wife” or “Virtuous Woman”, who is the subject of the bulk of this Proverb). I’d like to come from a different angle, if the Holy Spirit will allow me. Because it’s important to understand that this Proverb isn’t actually directed towards women (who tend to be the main proponents of this Proverb). It’s actually an “oracle” or “burden” or “prophecy” given to a son by his mother. This is very important to note for context when you read Proverbs 31 in its entirety.
I have a question for the women who desire to be “Proverbs 31 Women” (understanding that the context is in reference to wives or potential wives). Are you praying for a “Proverbs 31 Man” (whether you’re waiting for the Lord to send you one or whether you’re with a husband whom you desire to BE that Proverbs 31 Man)? I also have a question for the men who are praying for a “Proverbs 31 Woman”. Are you a Proverbs 31 Man worthy of, and who can properly cover (in love and headship), a Proverbs 31 Woman? Now we have to look at what a Proverbs 31 Man actually is.
With all the focus on the Virtuous Woman/Excellent Wife/Wife of Noble Character of vv. 10-31, it’s easy to miss how this Proverb actually starts out in vv. 1-9. It begins with an admonishment from King Lemuel’s mother about the proper conduct of a king. Ancient tradition and most scholars believe “Lemuel” to be King Solomon, and the context of the passage would seem to support that. No one knows for certain, however, and it’s not crucial to our understanding the point of what’s being communicated. Before the discourse on what an excellent wife looks like begins, we see an exhortation to this mysterious king from his mother that goes as follows:
“What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings” (vv. 2-3).
First off, MEN…don’t be whore-mongers, wannabe pimps and players, slaves to lustful appetites for women, etc. The godly mother here is admonishing her son who happens to be a king. Kings (from the Biblical perspective) are called to holiness and right living in order to rule righteously (“do not give…your ways to that which destroys kings”). But this is true in a general sense for all men. For we are called to be examples and the leaders of our households. In whatever other capacity we may be called to lead (church, community, business, and political leaders, etc.)…the exhortation to “not give (our)…ways to that which destroys…” is applicable to us being Proverbs 31 Men.
The Proverbs 31 Man is also exhorted to: 1) not allow his judgment to be impaired by intoxication (vv. 4-7…and the practical application for us today extends far beyond just getting drunk or high); and 2) have compassion and be a voice for the unfortunate, afflicted, and needy (vv. 8-9). Ahhhhh…if only the “kings” of today (our heads of state and of major corporations/organizations) modeled this!
So again I ask you men looking for a Proverbs 31 Woman: Are you a Proverbs 31 Man who models what a Proverbs 31 Woman should be looking for? Women, I ask you similarly: That man you’re asking the Lord to send you (or the one you’re already with)…is he a Proverbs 31 Man? Read the entire proverb, put it in context with your own station and position in life, and seek the will of the Father so that Christ may be exalted. May the Lord bless and keep you, in all you do and go through.
Your Servant & Brother in Christ,
Jediael Ben Johnson
